Wedding Receptions...Time for a Revolution

   I have a beef with wedding receptions...before I start though, this is not a direct criticism of the one I attended last night. I wish that couple the best and enjoyed myself despite my qualms. No, this is more of a general overview of what I find disagreeable with receptions.

   To begin with the most enjoyable reception I've ever attended was one in Trail, BC. It was held outdoors, under canopies and with picnic tables. There was over two dozen pies, a whole pig roast and plenty of beer. It had a redneck atmosphere, and it was completely informal, fun and a night nobody wanted to end.

  The majority of receptions I've attended follow the same script however. Formal dress, designated tables, buffet style with one table which gets first dibs, usually the head table, (this is a two fold complaint) speeches, open mike (which can be great or terrible, more on that later. Kudos to the reception last night for declining open mike) Slide show (no complaints, actually) dessert, and dancing, (I'm not a dancer).

   I don't dress up that often. When I do, I look good though, believe me. For weddings, funerals and other formal events it's fine. However for a reception which should ostensibly be a party, I feel overdressed and awkward and usually get food on my suit. That is why I partially dressed down for the reception last night, keeping the pants and shoes but opting for a long sleeved pullover and hoodie. I still looked good but felt much more comfortable. If receptions were more casual starting with dress I think they'd be infinitely more enjoyable, and people would feel more comfortable and at ease.

   It has become an unfortunate routine that no matter how many receptions I attend, I without fail end up at the last table in line for the buffet. Sometimes that means most of the food is gone by the time I arrive for the more casual buffets. Thankfully that was not case last night, also I was second to last so...score? One reception in particular, I think the MC who was in charge of choosing tables to go up was spiting me by choosing my table to go last, it was that obvious. Now those of you reading this may say I've never had that problem and have always had the good fortune to be one of the first up for food. You lucky son of gun. Yes, I take this fairly personally after a while but more in general, I think the whole table lottery is simply an unfair tradition with somebody always losing out.

    The alternative is what I had for my reception and the awesome one in Trail. Simply no designated tables, just a table or two of food and everybody just forms a line. Believe it or not, it does not end up in mass chaos. To make it work in a more formal setting, I suggest that prior to eating there should just be general milling and socialization with nobody forced to sit at a certain table. When the time is ready for food people can choose to continue socializing or form a line and sit with whomever they've struck up a conversation with rather than that awkward, "Oh, it looks like I should go back to my table...sorry, talk later?" This system works for church lunches, so why the heck can't it work for receptions.

     The head table. I have a problem with this setup. First of all it gives the reception that atmosphere of a medieval feast with the royalty seated high above the commoners. It is an artificial feeling of partition, and in most cases it feels like you're breaching protocol by even approaching the head table. One reception I was at broke that down by inviting guests up to play Rock Paper Scissors with the bride and groom. That was fun.

     The groom in particular last night made an effort to socialize with the tables and that was appreciated, but often it feels at most receptions that the limited time you have with the couple of honor is too short, stilted and just more awkward than your normal interactions with them. Half the time I never know what to say and in a more casual setting like Trail, socialization with the bride and groom doesn't feel forced or constrained.

       Open mike. In some cases it works great to break down formality and is a barrel of laughs. It other cases it can just be bad. For example, one reception I was at, the open mike turned into a roast of the groom. It was merciless and embarrassing. Other times, people can be lengthy, melodramatic, unfiltered, and frankly boring. In its defense, I've witnessed and participated in some great open mike, so really it's a toss up. I guess it should be up the discretion of the bride and groom and come with a warning label.

     Dessert. Awesome. That's all I have to say.

Dancing. Now I'm not saying receptions should do away with dancing. Lots of people love it and it truly gives a formal setting a party atmosphere. This is more of a pet peeve in that I have two left feet and feel incredibly awkward dancing. Get me in a mosh pit or in my living room and it's a different story. I will say this though. There is always a segment of the guests at receptions who will feel left out during dancing, mainly singles whom don't have the gumption to get up and join the fray without a partner. I've been on both sides of the coin and it was pure torture as a single honestly. As a married man, I've danced a few times with my wife but neither she or I are dancers.

      At my reception we had line dancing. It was great for two reasons. One, it was inclusive and not couples only. Two it was structured in such a way so that anybody could participate, good dancer or not. The two points kind of overlap, but the point being is that it was simply a ton of fun.

     In conclusion, the ideal reception in my mind is an outdoor (not always possible, but ideal) casual affair structured like a church lunch or school BBQ with plenty of food, plenty of time to socialize and no artificial barriers between the bride, groom and guests. A little bit of redneck spirit never hurts either, ;-).

Horror Movie Reality

           How open are you to the supernatural? After watching the Conjuring, reported to be the scariest movie since the Exorcist, that subject is fresh on my mind. I didn't jump, scream or even feel that scared while watching the movie, perhaps because I've always known that the demonic element presented in the movie exists. In a nutshell, the movie is based on a reported haunting of a house in the '70's where a family was terrified by the spirit of a witch among others.
        There are four notable experiences in my life in which I've encountered and sensed the demonic. The first time was when we had a long term student from Taiwan stay with my family with the homestay program for foreign students. His brother had arrived from Taiwan and they were sharing a room. I was  in the room watching them play video games and I physically felt a spiritual presence in the room of a dark, evil nature. I could actually visualize the presence standing beside me behind the couch. A tall, heavy shadow. Needless to say, I left the room promptly. Yet I wasn't scared. I just knew I needed to leave.
         The second incident I recall clearly was in the middle of the night when I awoke to a crushing pressure on my windpipe. It felt like an arm was pressing down on my throat. I sensed a physical presence yet did not see it. I called out the name of Jesus and it was if the presence was abruptly pulled away.
         The third time was when I was experiencing anxiety attacks and depression. I was at the time very aware of when a certain mood would come upon me like a blanket. On this one occasion, I felt this mood falling on me and I actually physically pushed it away and off with a simple jerk of my shoulders. It didn't come back. At the time I was quite spiritually sensitive, and I've never experienced anything quite like that again.
         The fourth time was when I was walking to our vehicle with my wife and son, and this women came up to me and didn't say anything other than give a wide, creepy smile. I could see without a word of lie, that there was demon in this women just staring at me and grinning. I've never experienced that before then or after, and I know what I saw.
         Now depending on your belief or lack of in the supernatural, you can either believe me or write me off. Many people who saw the movie the Conjuring wouldn't have considered it as anything but a good horror movie and nothing more. The plot its self was highly dramatized and written to make people jump, but the element of truth in the movie was clear to me though sadly missed by most.
        If you are inclined to believe me, keep this in mind. No matter how powerful, evil or frightening the Darkness makes its self out to be, it will always be in submission to Jesus. Keeping a clear head, acknowledging the reality of the supernatural and knowing who is in control will diminish whatever hold the Darkness has.
       So the next time you watch a horror movie, keep this in mind. There may be a bit of truth hidden for the discerning viewer. It's up to you to see it or dismiss it.